things to make you laugh and think - page 2
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited .... until you try to sit
in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road,
and the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
The phrase that is guaranteed to wake up an audience: "And in conclusion."
If the church wants a better preacher, it only needs to pray for the one it
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should
To make a long story short, don't tell it.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make
which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just
sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses -- not lawyers or judges.
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that holds this country back as much
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given
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